NBA Playoff Picks - Conference Finals

Eastern Conference

1) Cleveland vs. 3) Orlando

Lebron and the Cavs will be too much for Superman and the Magic. Cavs in 5

Outcome: Orlando 4 Cleveland 2

Western Conference

1) LA Lakers vs. 2) Denver

Another 7 game series for Kobe and the Lake Show. Lakers in 7

Outcome: Los Angeles 4 Denver 2

NBA Playoffs: Full Contact!

What's up with all these "ballers" getting flagrant in the NBA Playoffs? Do these guys realize that basketball is a "non-contact" sport? Here are my proposed solutions to the issue.

Solution #1: Remove the travelling rule. It's not like the refs call it anyway. Then you ammend the rules to allow fighting. Only one-on-one fighting with both guys standing, you know, like hockey. Next, throw down a slab of ice, put some boards around it and a hoop at each end. All that's left is teaching these guys how to skate. Now you can toss guys into the scorers table...errr boards, trip somebody trying to drive the lane or even knock a guy down when he comes to the top of the key. I know what you're thinking. "How do we have a dunk contest on skates? What about the revenue and ratings the NBA would lose without the Dunk Contest?" Simple! Pair these guys up with figure skaters who can teach them to jump. Wouldn't it be fun to see someone attempt an off-the-backboard-triple-salchow dunk? While blindfolded? Over another player? (Yes, I know that Marshall's family plays a game similar to this on an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." I just filled in some blanks.) If that doesn't work, they could always have an off-season nationwide tour of Thugs on Ice!!! The Musical!!!


Solution #2: Replace David "Notso" Stern with a guy who doesn't take anything from anybody. Someone who won't even tolerate a player being "rebellion in the scrip club." That's right, bring in Roger Goodell. I know he's busy with the NFL, that's why you make him co-commissioner. The other commish? Dana White. Then, ammend the rule book to say that ANY player receiving a flagrant foul will have to face a UFC fighter at halftime of their next nationally televised game. That might help some of these guys realize that they are NOT hockey players. It also provides better ratings for the games with UFC fights at halftime. Personally, I can't wait for the first match.

Solution #3: Stop throwing, tripping, body checking, slapping and elbowing guys with malice. Play basketball! That way, when a team loses nobody can blame it on one of their top guys being suspended for a game because they couldn't keep their hands off another guy.

I vote for #2.

1st Nomination for the 2009 NFL Sharpy Awards

Yet another Favre update. This is not a Friday but I'll call it Favre Friday #3 anyway. Brett informed the Vikings that he is going to stay retired. Wow. It's finally over! Or is it? He also said he will keep throwing. Damn! I'm thinking he just doesn't want to go through training camp. So, I will say that sometime before the Vikings 3rd pre-season game, Brett Favre will sign a contract with them. Really. That's my prediction. I honestly can't think of a better place for him to play than in mINnesoTa.

Favre Friday #2: Ok, so it's been a while since Favre Friday #1, but when you are dealing with Brett, you can't really count on anything. The latest in this ongoing, yearly saga is that Mr. Favre will give the Vikings his decision by July 30th. And then he will change his mind on July 31st, August 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on. That's all for now.

Favre Friday #1: So, instead of updating this everytime Mr. Indecision changes his mind, I'm going to start updating this post every Friday. Starting today apparently. WE STILL DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! See you next week for another Favre Friday update. Oh yeah, I'm also going to change text colors for every update. Just because nothing ever stays the same with good ole' #4.

Update: Mr. Favre has once again changed his mind and told the Vikings that he will not play for them. HEY BRETT! FLIP FLOPS ARE FOOTWEAR, NOT A WAY OF LIFE!!!

I know it's early, but it appears we already have a candidate for next year's Sharpy Awards. Later this week, Brett Fah-vra will be meeting with the Minnesota Vikings about the possiblity of returning to the NFL. Again. Last year, he won the Yes. No. Wait! What? Sharpy for his indecisiveness about retirement. Apparently he wants to defend that title this year.
See all of the 2008 NFL Sharpy Awards here: http://jsharpsports.blogspot.com/2008/12/2008-nfl-sharpy-awards.html

With all the flippity-floppity going on I'm thinking that once he finally does retire for good, politics would be a good route for him.

Reporter: "Mr. Favre, which party are you running under?"
Favre: "Republican."
Reporter: "Republican?"
Favre: "Yes."
Reporter: "Are you sure?"
Favre: "No."
Reporter: "Mr. Favre, it generally helps if you affiliate yourself with one of the parties."
Favre: "Wait! What?"

Great! Now I'm going to need some Political Sharpy Awards. Thanks Brett!

NBA Playoff Picks - 2nd Round

Eastern Conference

1) Cleveland vs. 4)Atlanta

The Hawks are just another stepping stone for Lebron and the Cavs. Cavs in 5

Outcome: Cleveland 4 Atlanta 0

2) Boston vs. 3) Orlando

Superman will save the NBA fans from the playoff villain, Flagrant Green! Magic in 6

Outcome: Orlando 4 Boston 3

Western Conference

1) LA Lakers vs. 5) Houston

Houston will be about as effective as Utah. Lakers in 5

Outcome: Los Angeles 4 Houston 3

2) Denver vs. 6) Dallas

Should be closer than either of their first round series. Nuggets in 7

Outcome: Denver 4 Dallas 1