Hello. It is time for the inaugural NFL Sharpy Awards. This year was full of winners and losers. So, without further ado, let's get started.
Coach of the Year: Tony Sparano-Miami
Sparano led the Dolphins to an 11-5 season and the AFC East title. That's a huge turnaround from last year's 1-15 record. Part of the team's success can probably be attributed to Sparano's willingness to be creative and adopt the Wildcat formation, in which the quarterback goes wide as a receiver and the running back takes the snap in the shotgun. This allows the running back to either run the ball himself, hand it off to a second running back or pass.
Executive of the Year: Thomas Dimitroff-Atlanta
Dimitroff recovered from the jokes that were Bobby Petrino and Mike Vick by hiring Mike Smith and using the #3 overall pick on Matt Ryan. He also went out and signed free agent running back Michael Turner from San Diego.
Comeback Player of the Year: Ronnie Brown-RB-Miami
Brown tore his ACL on 10/21/07 against the New England Patriots and missed the rest of the season. This year he came back strong rushing for 916 yards on 214 carries with 10 touchdowns. He also had 33 receptions for 254 yards. To top it all off, Brown completed 2 of 3 pass attempts in the Wildcat formation with one of them being a touchdown. He had a passer rating of 149.3.
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Matt Ryan-QB-Atlanta
Ryan helped lead the Falcons to an 11-5 record and their first playoff berth since 2004. Mike Who? Matty Ice threw for 3,440 yards on 265/434 passing. He threw 16 touchdowns and 11 interceptions.
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Jerod Mayo-LB-New England
Mayo had 128 tackles for the Patriots this year. 100 of them were solo tackles. New England narrowly missed the playoffs, finishing 11-5, even without Tom Brady.
Offensive Player of the Year: Drew Brees-QB-New Orleans
Brees had a passer rating of 96.2 while throwing 34 touchdowns and 17 interceptions. He completed 65% of his passes and had 5,069 yards. The Saints finished in 4th place in the NFC South with a respectable 8-8 record.
Defensive Player of the Year: DeMarcus Ware-LB-Dallas
Ware was impressive with his 20 sacks and 84 tackles (69 solo). The Cowboys missed the playoffs after losing to the Eagles 44-6 in week 17.
Most Valuable Player: Peyton Manning-QB-Indianapolis
Manning threw for 4,002 yards with 27 touchdowns and 12 interceptions. He completed 68.8% of his passes while leading the Colts to a 12-4 record and a Wild Card berth in the playoffs.
Now for the important awards...
Worst Team: Detroit Lions
Rod Marinelli was fired after spending too much time with his good friend Owen Sixteen. The Lions are the first team in NFL history to finish winless in a sixteen game season. Rumors are circulating that the Lions may become the first team to hire a Hispanic/Asian coach. They are reportedly in talks with a man named Juan Nguyen.
Worst Team to Actually Win a Game: Cleveland Browns
The Browns finished the season 4-12 which was better than 3 other teams and the same as the Seahawks, but they were by far the most inept team for most of the season. They did not score an offensive touchdown after their 29-27 win over Buffalo on November 17 and they only had one defensive touchdown in that stretch. They ended the season with a six game losing streak and were shut out the final two weeks. In week 17, they lost to the Steelers 31-0. The Steelers were without Ben Roethlisberger for most of game as he went out with a concussion. The Browns did get a great passing performance from Bruce Gradkowski though. He was 5 of 16 for a whopping 18 yards and an exemplary passer rating of 2.
The "You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression" Award:
Mike Singletary-San Francisco
In his first game as head coach of the San Francisco 49ers, Singletary benched starting QB J.T. O'Sullivan in the second quarter, dropped his pants in the locker room at half time and sent starting tight end Vernon Davis to the locker room with over ten minutes left in the game. Singletary said he dropped his pants to symbolize how badly they were getting beaten in the game. As for Davis, he was benched for an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty he received. Singletary didn't think he was taking it seriously so he sent him to the showers. He explained the early exit after the game with one of the best soundbites since Allen Iverson's Practice speech.
"I'd rather play with 10 people and just get penalized all the way until we have to do something else rather than play with 11 when I know that right now that person is not sold out to be a part of this team," Singletary said. "It is more about them than it is about the team. Cannot play with them, cannot win with them, cannot coach with them. Can't do it. I want winners. I want people that want to win."
The "Change We Can't Believe In (and don't care about)" Award:
Chad Johnson-WR-Cincinnati
Before the season began, Chad Johnson decided to legally change his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. Or Joko Cinco. Or Ocho Stinko. Whatever. He did this so he could put Ocho Cinco on the back of his jersey and not be fined by the No Fun League. The league then told him he couldn't change the name on his jersey unless he bought all of his old jerseys. He followed up his attention loving antics by not getting any attention for his play. He had 53 receptions for 540 yards, which were both the lowest totals he's had since becoming a starter. He also had a whole quatro touchdowns. No bueno.
The WTF Award: Donovan McNabb-QB-Philadelphia
On November 16, the Eagles and Bengals played to an exciting 13-13 tie. That's the first time since 2002 that an NFL game has ended in a tie. It was not a pretty game. There were five turnovers and a few shanked punts. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that Donovan McNabb, in his 10th year in the league, thought the game would keep going until someone scored. He had no idea that regular season games are allotted one fifteen minute overtime period to break a tie. If nobody scores, the game is over. Tie ballgame. No winners. How does someone who has been running the offense of a professional football team for as long as McNabb has not know the rules. I knew that rule and I've never even played one down of organized football in my life. If he doesn't want to read the rule book I would suggest playing some Madden NFL 09 in the off-season. It's a great way to learn the rules without all the big words.
And the final award of the night is:
The "Is That a Gun in Your Sweatpants or are You Just Happy to See Me?" Award:
Plaxico Burress-WR-New York Giants
Plax shot himself in the leg while trying to stop his gun from sliding down his sweatpants in a club. Really? Who wears sweatpants to a club? You can afford some slacks, Plax. He should take a page from the book of every other superstar and have his bodyguards carry his gun. That way if anything goes down, he won't accidentally end his career.
Other awards handed out at an earlier ceremony are:
The "Yes. No. Wait! What?" Award: Brett Favre-QB-New York Jets For his indecision on retirement. He also received the "You Can't Pronounce My Last Name by Sounding it Out" Award.
The "Just Retire, Baby!" Award: Al Davis-Oakland For successfully running his team into the ground and making it so no good players or coaches want to sign with the Raiders.
The Best Weekly Drama on TV Award: Dallas Cowboys TO was jealous because Romo and Witten are close friends. He was also mad that he doesn't get the ball on every play... again. Pacman, sorry Adam, Jones was in and out of trouble...again. They got destroyed by the Eagles with a playoff spot on the line. Plus, there is the off chance that Jessica Simpson could show up. If only they had a weekly time slot for all this drama. Then I could set my DVR.
